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Hey Washington Nationals: Don’t Ever Let Teddy Win

In Baseball, Fandom on October 3, 2012 at 12:04 pm

By Ryan Swanson

Update (10/4): The Washington Nationals caved.  Last night, October 3, 2012, Teddy broke his 525 race losing streak. He defeated mascots Jefferson, Lincoln and Washington in the 4th inning Presidents race at Nats Park. What a shame. I stand by my post from yesterday.  

Hey Washington Nationals: Don’t Ever You Should Have Never Let Teddy Win

Today, on the last day of Major League Baseball’s regular season, Washington D.C. has much to celebrate.  The Nationals have clinched the National League East division title and are headed to the playoffs.  Gio Gonzales, Bryce Harper, and Ryan Zimmerman lead a young talented ensemble that seems destined not only to make a run at the World Series this year, but for seasons to come.  The shutdown of Steven Strasburg doesn’t seem to have derailed the team. When the playoffs start this weekend, it will be the first time since 1933 that playoff baseball (not including the Negro Leagues) will take place in the District.  Washington’s long losing nightmare seems to be over.

But not for Teddy Roosevelt.  Teddy racked up his 525th consecutive loss last night at NatsPark.  Confused?  I am, of course, talking about Teddy the mascot.  In the middle of the fourth inning at Nats’ home games, the presidential mascot race around the field takes place.  Teddy Roosevelt faces (always loses to) George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln.  Whether by disqualification, ineptness, showing up in the wrong place or at the wrong time, or simply because he’s too slow Teddy always loses.  Every time.  The other three presidents split the victories.  And this has become a thing in Washington.

Birdland Memories: Coming to Terms with a Glorious Past in a Playoff-Bound Present

In Fandom on October 2, 2012 at 4:22 pm

By Richard Hardesty

“He was, and is, Mr. Oriole”

 On Saturday evening, the Baltimore Orioles completed their Legends Celebration Series by unveiling the sculpture honoring Gold Glove-winning third baseman Brooks Robinson. Robinson played twenty-three years with the Orioles, winning sixteen Gold Glove awards, two world championships, and the 1964 American League Most Valuable Player Award (MVP). In 1970, Robinson’s glove and bat work earned him the World Series MVP, giving nightmares to then-Cincinnati Reds manager Sparky Anderson.[1] Robinson retired seven years later, and, in 1983, he entered the National Baseball Hall of Fame.

Robinson represented one of six Orioles legends honored in bronze during the 2012 season. Yet, more than any other Oriole legend, Robinson crystallized the tough process the current organization endured to accept its glorious past. From 1960 to 1985, the Orioles served as a model baseball franchise, enjoying twenty-three winning seasons, seven American League East titles, six American League championships, and three World Series titles. Robinson served as the face of the franchise during most of the team’s glory years. As Baltimore businessman Henry A. Rosenberg said, “He was, and is, Mr. Oriole.”[2] Baltimore embraced Robinson, establishing a connection so strong that Associated Press sportswriter Gordon Beard once famously remarked, “Brooks never asked anyone to name a candy bar after him. In Baltimore, people name their children after him.”[3]

Pick Your Fittest Candidate

In Politics on September 26, 2012 at 11:50 pm

By: Mandy Shaver

Pick a candidate.

Candidate A- Associates with crooked politicians and consults astrologists.  He’s had two mistresses.  He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B – He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college, and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C – He is a decorated war hero.  He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks an occasional beer, and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?

Candidate A: Franklin D. Roosevelt

Candidate B: Winston Churchill

Candidate C: Adolph Hitler

Alright…you may argue that limited lifestyle habit information, little historical data to base these claims, and no mention of a candidate’s platform; this is not a fair hypothetical question.  But for a non-hypothetical question, how do edible voters in the United States perceive a candidate’s and running mate’s morality based upon his lifestyle?

Republican Willard Mitt Romney: He abstains from drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes.  He ties his dog to the roof of his car especially when his adult sons travel with him on the campaign trail.  He runs almost every morning and made the People magazine’s list as one of the “50 Most Beautiful People” in 2002.

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